Name:

From ages 6-17, I was a Ward of the State, living in foster homes, shelters and children's homes. During ages 6-9 I was the victim of serial rape, both anal and oral. Unlike many I grew up with, I survived and with intensive psychotherapy recovered from my abuse. I later became an activist on child abuse and neglect issues, speaking publicly of my experiences to scores of groups. I lived an honorable life until age 46, when I completed the Cycle of Shame by sexually abusing my nine year old stepdaughter by touching her pubic mound for about five seconds and touching the breasts and pubic mound of an 11 year old family friend for about 15 seconds. I plead guilty to two counts of Sexual Abuse in the First Degree and was sentenced to five years in prison. I received five years probation and am nearing the end of my first year in Sex Offender Group Treatment. The consequences I have suffered have at times been nearly unbearable... and are completely deserved. To simply never offend again is not enough. My soul demands I atone.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Will you be a Child Molester?

Do you know the answer to that question? The only correct answer is "No"!

No matter who you are... no matter what you believe... you have the potential to sexually abuse a child.

There were no circumstances under which I could ever have believed that I could become a child molester... but I did. The only responsibility for this is mine. I now suffer the consequences and accept them fully.

This blog begins an online effort to atone for my crimes. I cannot turn back the clock... I cannot undo what I did... I cannot remove the pain and suffering I caused... I can only share my experiences and help others to either stop what they are doing or make them aware of their inner potential to offend.

Here I will share essays. Take them for what they are worth.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read the thread on the counseling site, was it, where others jumped you and you said goodbye? I think readers should not talk about other writers to each other, because that brings out the craziness of group dynamics, which are sort of unpredictable. While folks were still talking to you it seemed okay but when folks started "gossiping," that's when it deteriorated. Does that mean you will never return to that site or just not that thread? I'd kind of like to post to that site but don't know how. I got to it by asking Google to help me find references to "trauma bonding." I'd like to tell the others what I think but don't know how to get on that site.

NM

January 29, 2005 at 11:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read the thread on the counseling site, was it, where others jumped you and you said goodbye? I think readers should not talk about other writers to each other, because that brings out the craziness of group dynamics, which are sort of unpredictable. While folks were still talking to you it seemed okay but when folks started "gossiping," that's when it deteriorated. Does that mean you will never return to that site or just not that thread? I'd kind of like to post to that site but don't know how. I got to it by asking Google to help me find references to "trauma bonding." I'd like to tell the others what I think but don't know how to get on that site.

NM

January 29, 2005 at 11:59 PM  

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